Emotional pain can bully you into the depths of despair.
Life’s not as smooth as before, “I was happier when….” Fill in the blank with whatever it is!
Regardless of the specific cause of pain, it’s pretty obvious that it might be necessary to make a change. Then again… “Maybe not, I’m probably just overreacting again.”
It’s difficult to pinpoint what’s wrong – “I’m just not happy.”
Over-investment in work left little time for creating a family – “I feel empty and jealous of people who did the career thing and the family. It’s probably too late now.” “What was it all for?” “I don’t really even have an identity beyond work.” “Everything I thought brings happiness was wrong.”
Denial and avoidance drown out the gnawing discomfort – until other distractions completely remove the urge to change.
Being irritable and restless causes a desire to feel better… Maybe a vacation, a new relationship, or letting loose by smoking or drinking. Although indulging in pleasures brings some momentary relief, it doesn’t last. It leads to familiar crossroads – endless indulgences in a pleasurable activity or just sitting in misery and dissatisfaction with life.
Moments of clarity pass quickly and may get silenced for years through wild indulgence in fringe lifestyles and endeavors. There’s no greater tragedy than doing this so long that you realize – “I think I’ve wasted my entire life, with nothing to show for it but fleeting possessions and memories of deceptive exploits and guilty pleasures.”
Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
When you’re physically sick, everyone can see and empathize – even offer support and encouragement.
Unfortunately, that’s not the case with mental health. Emotional pain is unspoken suffering. It often goes undetected for way too long, resulting in too many unnecessary consequences from sleep difficulty, susceptibility to physical illness, lack of fulfillment, missed opportunities in careers relationships, and unnecessary suffering from not getting help.
And when you’re hurting inside, you can treat yourself worse than your worst enemy. If you think about some of the things we say and do to ourselves… Treating anyone else as recklessly as ourselves may be illegal!
Plus, we invest our time and effort into what we love. And when we hate ourselves, we don’t make that investment.
Here’s why you should, though…
Individual therapy gives you a confidential, nonjudgmental, relaxing space to get one-on-one support.
Whether we’re in the office or working together online it’s safe to share about anything on your mind. From issues in relationships, intimacy, fears, traumatic events, shame, regret, thoughts, desires, urges, and doubt around the possibility of changing.
The bottom line…
… is we want to increase your fulfillment in life and decrease your suffering. You might be shocked at how much things can improve by working together.
It’s time to face fears and address them voluntarily. Otherwise, they manage you. Let’s work to empower confidence and a sense of commitment to work through issues instead of avoiding them and risk any further damage they pose to relationships, work, and quality of life.
Talking about change – considering and capitalizing on strengths versus weaknesses can help clarify small, manageable steps. I can help resolve ambivalence by looking at the discomfort the issues cause versus the fear and apprehension of facing the discomfort of change.
It will be important to evoke as much information as I can from you in terms of your ideal destination in defining therapy goals. I will utilize open-ended questions such as – What would you like to be different?
Reflections – repeating my interpretation of concerns/feelings to ensure accurate understanding and summaries.
We’ll outline the relevant developments made throughout the session – the goal being that I take what may seem jumbled and confusing and hand it back as an organized bouquet at the end of the session.
This process is called Motivational Interviewing. In short, it’s an effective way to talk to someone about change and is highly regarded in therapy.
I can explain more about the process and demystify it in the session. However, the important feature is that researchers discovered that the more a therapist could elicit “change talk” – i.e., statements that favor change from the client – the more likely they are to change.
Conversely, the more “sustain talk” statements made – arguments in defense of the status quo – the more likely they were to stay the same. Therefore, it will be my job to get you to share as much as possible about why change is important and guide you to formulate a personal plan! Spoiler alert, the answers are within you, not me – I just help reveal them.
Of course, I can also point out flaws in logic and help anticipate all of the potential issues along the way and plan how to address them. Preparation is one of the keys to success.
Then, I will get to cheer for you as you start taking steps. This is where the magic happens, and the tides of fortune reverse in reality. The results can be miraculous and shock even the most stubborn skeptics.
You are no longer alone.
If you feel ready to face the unavoidable realities of life, I stand prepared to support you and make it a reality. Therapy empowers change and helps propel life toward a fulfilling future that makes it all worthwhile.
Most people don’t dare to reach out and ask for help until something terrible happens. Don’t wait for a crisis to ask for help!
I’m happy to provide a free 20-minute consultation to determine whether we’re a good fit. I’m pleased to answer any questions that might help your decision, and of course, you can always change your mind.
It would be an honor to participate in your courageous process! Call now: (561) 717-3227.